desire

'If your right hands offends thee' -- the structural method for seekers dealing with desires & fears

Spiritual seekers find inevitable resistance of various kinds to their self-inquiry and surrender. These resistances are based in attachments to their personal identity and the associated desires and fears.

I'm usually not a fan of overpowering our desires and fears. Where these are strong, I find that is futile. In particular, ideas of laziness and willpower are almost entirely useless. Resistance must be engaged in dialogue, and our feelings shown into the light of awareness.

That said, the ancient method of dealing with desires and fears was structural -- eliminate the circumstances which caused them. Where the desires and fears are relatively weak compared to the strength of the spiritual desire, this can still be useful.

How do you make decisions the spiritual way?

How does one deal with difficult decisions? From the psychological perspective, it's important that one be clear and honest about what you want. Therapy and artistic expression can help with this. But from a purely spiritual perspective, you simply recognize that you are not the doer and that you have nothing to do with decisions. You let the mind fall absolutely quiet through surrender or inquiry. The funny thing is that these approaches are not actually opposed. They occur in different contexts.

Turn away from what you want or pursue it? Old vs. new school spiritual approaches to desire

The nondual traditions have usually held that the seeker must turn away from desires for fulfillment in the world -- through relationships, pleasure, etc. The seeker should use knowledge and the cut the attachment to these. My approach is a bit different. The seeker must indeed turn away from seeking happiness in these pleasures, but this is only going to happen through a process of honest admission and pursuit of desire. The old knowledge+willpower way doesn't work that well.